Many thanks to Richard Wilson for his wonderful articles filled with humour and comment to make you laugh and cry. Excellent observation of the human condition on this occasion.
Do you know any old goats?
See link below to Richards Fishrise page.
Even if you’ve never met Old Bodger in the flesh, you’ll know his ilk. In person, he’s socially awkward and his opinions are closely guarded. He’s also no spring chicken. The mullet went south years ago and the replacement comb-over is struggling.
But don’t be fooled: Old Bodger has secret superpowers.
At home, alone with his computer, he morphs into an Internet Warrior and owner of a snarling V8 hotrod (a relic, like Bodger, with far-distant echoes of the Beach Boys). Bathed in the blue light of his screen, he becomes a loud and proud throwback to a time when the world was a better place.
In his shaving mirror, Bodger sees a master of withering irony. A silken-tongued enforcer of online righteousness. This is odd because if there’s one thing Bodger can’t do, it’s the deft and gentle humour of irony. Subtlety is not his friend.
Instead, Bodger has two thrusting attributes: His rage against the modern world and his pride in his car, which is accumulating value at an astonishingly boastful rate. It’s a late ‘50s Barris-built Kandy-Kolored Streamline hotrod.
Of course it’s not all open road and wind in his hair. As we shall see, Bodger’s life is riddled with provocations, and the price of fuel is just first among many. And oh how Bodger rails against the cost of gas. It’s not fair, is it? If there’s one thing that really sets Bodger apart from most of us, it’s that he does outraged grievance with heavy-breathing ecstasy. His neighbours hear him pounding his keyboard late into the night.
There is, of course, a paradox in this. Despite the low-fi worldview, he’s spending a lot of time on the internet. Mostly on the arcane and genteel Vintage Split Cane Fly Rod Forum, where he stamps on heresy.
It is in his warrior DNA to wield his sword of truth and mightily slay imposters lurking on the VSCF-RF. You’d be shocked by what he finds there. Bodger stands proud against hordes of woke wussie, coal-hating, EV-owning, global warming, diet-Coke drinking, vaxing, barbless morons. It’s enough to make a warrior spill his coffee in foot-stamping rage (even his trouser stains are someone else’s fault).
What’s odd about this is that fishing etiquette matters a lot back in the real world. We all care about how we, and others, behave in person. Most of us can manage to listen politely to people we meet along the way while avoiding shit-talking with, or worse, at strangers. We try to be nice to each other, and mostly it works.
Somehow this all goes wrong online. Or, rather, it all goes wrong for Old Bodger and his scathing own-brand irony. Because when he calls someone a fracking nut-job, that’s ironic. Bodger also posts his irony in torrents. Which is OK because it’s all done for laughs: It’s full-frontal irony (I’ll leave it to you, dear reader, to deal with that image).
So if we po-faced dullards worry he’s mired in twaddle, he tells us we’re numb-knucks who wouldn’t know irony if it hit us in the po-face with a broken bottle: Lighten up! FFS. This is usually flagged by multiple rictus grin emojis 🤣🤣🤣. So, obvs, it’s all hilariously funny. Geddit 🤣 idiot?
Bodger has a small posse of camp followers, all lost in the same drear-life crisis.
Collectively they muster the charm of 13-year-old schoolboys, clumping on the back seat of a bus and lost in the hilarity of farting noises made with clammy hands wedged in each others’ armpits. Tee-hee. Somehow this humour always fails to impress the other passengers. Which, if you’re 13, is why you do it.
They’re a heavily ironic crowd, with names like Curmudgeon, Farter, Whittler and, inexplicably, Blue VerruKa. You don’t know it, but they own you and you’re dancing to their tune. And just in case you’re wondering, ‘Owning’ people means: ‘I dunno what you’re talking about, but I bet I can really annoy you if I vomit on your carpet’. Ah, the delicious irony of it all.
The posse is so lost in their jokes-on-you irony that we must assume that Bodger has never read The First Rule of Goats. He should. It is succinct, if a little crude.
For readers unfamiliar with the Rule and who don’t like to see the word ‘fuck’ in print, I have substituted ‘grope’.
So, the (sanitised) First Rule of Goats says: “If you grope a goat, even if you say you’re doing it ironically, you’re still a goat-groper. You don’t get off scot-free just because you say ‘I was only being ironic’.”
The corollary Rule to this is:
“If your rhetoric is all about goat-groping, even if you’re doing it ironically, you’re liable to attract a following of goat-gropers”
And finally: A mint Kandy-Kolored Streamline built by the legendary George Barris is a special beast. An original would, you’d think, make Bodger’s home a magnet for well-heeled ‘50s car collectors. After all, the Barris Batmobile last sold for $4.2m.
Weirdly, nobody calls.
And that is ironic*.
*Poignantly contrary to what was expected or intended.
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Post Script: For more on the very real George Barris and the equally real Kandy-Kolored Streamline hot-rods, Tom Wolfe’s essay of almost the same name is a great read. Thanks also to Ken White for the First Rule of Goats.
Old Bodger, Curmudgeon, Farter, Whittler and Blue VerruKa are, of course, fictional characters.
June 2024
The weather continues to warm up, as have the water temperatures (in spite of unseasonably cold nights and some cooler breezes), with steady insect activity, and fish feeding well either on or just below the surface; some wet days and heavy downpours of rain have meant that most of the reservoirs are still all at top level.
Fishing:
Kennick – Anglers averaged 2.6 fish per rod over the month, with fish continuing to be well spread out around the lake. Bank anglers enjoyed slightly more success than the boats, with The Narrows, The Lawns, Boat Bank, Laployd, Smithacott and Poplar Bay banks fishing particularly well, and boats catching well in the deeper central water. Natural airborne beetles, caddis, crane-flies and hatching Damsels have meant that many fish have been feeding on or near the surface, with anglers catching well using Foam Beetles, Black Hoppers, Daddies, Sedges, Hawthorns, Claret Snafflers and Emergers on the surface, using floating lines with long leaders and a slow retrieve. Subsurface feeders have been caught on Damsel Nymphs, Buzzers, Montanas, Bloodworms and Diawl Bachs, while lure anglers caught using Cats Whiskers and Boobies. Peter Gilpin (from Newton Abbot) caught ten rainbows to 3lb 9oz in one session, mainly on Black and Green Boobies; Ben Garnett (from Kenn) caught a 2lb 9oz rainbow while fishing in the early evening, casting to a feeding fish in Boat Bay, using a Diawl Bach; Alex Jackson caught a bag of four fish to 2lb 8oz, casting to topping fish along the West Bank. The annual Peninsula Classic bank competition, sponsored this year by Turralls, was won by Alex Venn, catching a bag of seven fish, weighing in at 13lb 12oz; Alex Jackson (from Australia) took second place with five fish, weighing 9lb 12oz; John Hern (from Exeter) caught the biggest fish of the day – a rainbow of 2lb 8oz.
Siblyback – This fishery continued to provide some excellent fishing, with anglers averaging 4.7 fish per rod, with the North Bank, Two Meadows, Stocky Bay and Crylla Bay producing the most consistent sport (although fish have been caught all over the lake, and seem to be well spread out). Plenty of air-born beetles and hatching buzzers meant that the fish were eager to look up to the surface to feed, with Beetles, Hawthorns, Sedges, Coch-y-bondhus and Hoppers all catching well. Deeper feeding fish were caught on a selection of nymph patterns (Damsel Nymphs, Gold Head Hares Ears, Montanas and Diawl Bachs) and lures (Boobies, Tadpoles, Orange Blobs, Orange Baby Dolls and Vivas). Ron Wilday (from Liskeard) had some excellent sessions, the best producing a bag of twelve rainbows (to 2lb) and one brown while fishing one morning in Stocky Bay, with fish feeding close to the surface.
Burrator – Anglers averaged 2.34 fish per rod over the month, with Longstone, Bennetts, Sheepstor and Pig Trough producing the best sport. Sedge hatches produced the best surface feeding activity, when fish were caught using Black Gnats, Daddy Longlegs, Hoppers (black and red) and Beetle imitations. Fish could, however, be caught at all depths, when Montanas, Crunchers, Damsel Nymphs, Orange Blobs and Tadpoles all succeeded in catching fish. Roger Prout (from Pensilva) caught a bag of ten rainbows in a session of very mixed weather conditions, using a floating line with a midge-tip, either with fast strips using a Cormorant, or a static line with Buzzers and Beetles. Allan Lawson (from Plymouth) caught a bag of five rainbows to 1lb 12oz and a brown using both a floater and slow-sink line; Andy Lawson (from Plymouth) caught a bag of six rainbow to 1lb 8oz, either stripping white lures on an intermediate line, or using dry Black Caddis and Beetle patterns fished very slowly.
Stithians – The lake continued to produce some excellent sport, with anglers averaging 3.6 fish per rod, and fish still well spread out around the lake (Pipe Bay, Yellowort, Goonlaze, Pipe Bay and Sailing Club Bank all received regular mentions on catch returns). Buzzer hatches and air-born beetles meant that there was plenty of surface action, with dry Daddies, Hawthorns, Hoppers, Black Gnats, Beetle patterns and buzzer emergers all catching well. Damsel Nymphs, Hares Ears, Diawl Bachs and Black and Peacock spiders all caught deeper feeders, mainly fished on a floating line.
Fernworthy – Most of the fish caught this month have been on or near the surface, either on dry patterns (Beetles, Hoppers, Bobs Bits, Sedgehogs and Black Gnats), or nymphs (Diawl Bach, Pheasant Tail and Spiders) and larger patterns (Soldier Palmer, Invicta and Bibio) fished just under the surface and cast to feeding fish. The most productive areas included Brownhills, Thornworthy, Permit Hut bank and near the dam.
Colliford – The fishing continued to improve this month, with rods averaging five fish per angler, with the preferred locations including Fishery Hut bank, Lords Waste and the banks by the dam. The browns were looking to the surface to feed on beetles blown onto the water, and floating lines with long leaders produced the best results. Coch-y-bondus and foam beetle patterns, along with Sedges and Hoppers, caught well on the surface, otherwise pulled lure patterns (Soldier Palmer, Zonker, Black Mini muddler, Bloodworm and Bushy Blob) fished just under the surface attracted fish. Included in the nice bags caught in the month were Chris Tillyard (from Fraddon), catching eleven browns to 1lb 8oz in an evening session, using Black and Peacock spiders and Hoppers; Dean Boucher (from Gunnislake) caught eleven browns, all on pulled wets in one session, and twelve fish to 15” on Beetles, Hoppers and slow-retrieve team of nymphs in another; Paul Mockford (from St Wenn) caught eight browns to 1lb 8oz on beetle patterns.
Roadford – Floating lines with long leaders proved to be the best combination, with fish taking a variety of patterns, including Humungous, Sedgehog, Buzzers, Damsel nymphs, as well as the more traditional Coachman and Whickhams Fancy. Fish were well spread out, with Wortha, Shop Inlet and Grinnacombe all proving popular. Rodeny Wevill (from Lifton) caught four browns to 2lb, using a floating line with a long leader and fishing slow and deep, with the best sport in the last hour before sunset.
Please see the Trust’s website (www.swlakestrust.org.uk/trout-fishing) for more information on buying tickets, boat availability and booking, and forthcoming events. The Trust, in conjunction with Fluff Chuckers, will be running a Brown Trout Masters competition this season, to be held over three dates at Colliford, Fernworthy and Roadford – please see the website for more information.
Chris Hall (June 2024)
ENDS
LATEST REPORT FROM BULLDOG TROUT LAKE
As luck would have it he landed not one but two Tigers on his 6 fish ticket!
Heady June Summer Days |
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Warm sun, the heady scent of honeysuckle in the hedgerows, the excitement of the first sea trout coming through and it seems those bitter northeast winds of last week have been relegated to nothing but a distant fading memory. Thank goodness summer is finally here!
There has been much excitement after a very successful, slightly windy but warm and balmy day up on the North Devon shoreline, with several well sized sea bass caught. Slightly closer to home on the Lower Lyd, it was the sea trout coming through that had the Fishing Shop buzzing with excitement. A total of 5 were caught last week with the largest coming in at 3 lbs and a couple in at 2.5 lbs. More generally, on the rivers there are still plenty of hatches to be found and when they come it can be fantastic with some 20 wild brown trout caught in just a couple of hours.
The Arundell gardens are now well and truly in their full June glory. Rambling pink roses, the delicate green of the euphorbia, the exotic aroma of the yellow yarrow and the occasional bright flash of the lupins. An English country garden at its best and its wonderful to see the Afternoon Teas on the terrace are in full swing!
For those with young children, don’t forget that on the last two Saturdays in July (20th & 27th) and most Saturdays in August (3rd, 10th, 24th & 31st) we will be offering our 1 hr introduction to fly fishing lessons down at the lake. Booking essential.
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I enjoyed a day at Wimbleball catching up with some good mates for an annual get together. Whilst fishing wasn’t top of the agenda the lakes hard fighting rainbows put a serious bend in our rods. A superb full finned rainbow of 5lb 1oz that took me to the backing after taking a black foam hopper was the highlight of the fishing day. The sight of the fish slurping in the fly in a leisurely roll and then stripping line from the reel in a blistering run before leaping from the lake is one of those enduring memories from a summer day of sunshine and heavy showers.
Wimbleball offers superb fishing with hard fighting rainbows and wild browns. Its large expanse of crystal clear water nestled within a lush rural landscape makes it must a visit venue. The catch and release option ensures that a full day can be enjoyed.
Good morning all anglers!
https://dulvertonanglingassociation.org.uk
Lance Nicholson
( Above) Mark Potter and Chris Connaughton on their last day at Quay Sports
CHRIS CONNAUGHTON Comments
As the year races past it is essential to ensure that plans discussed at the start of the season get acted upon. At the Roadford Fly Fair at the end of February I chatted with Luke Bannister about a trip to the river that was discussed further when we met up at the Orvis Outlet Opening at the Arundell Sporting Hotel in March.
https://www.northdevonanglingnews.co.uk/2024/03/21/a-visit-to-the-arundell-arms-at-lifton-a-longstanding-country-hotel-with-a-rich-history-for-shooting-and-fishing/
After a few messages back and forth Luke and I set a day to meet up and fish the Arundell’s water in early June. We arranged to meet at the Arundell at 9:30am where we could meet up with David Pilkington who would allocate a beat for the day and give valuable advice.
The Arundell has over twenty miles of fishing on the Tamar and its tributaries with an abundance of wild brown trout fishing along with salmon, sea trout and grayling. It was the wild browns that Luke and I would be targeting and with a few mayfly still showing we hoped for success on the dry fly.
It was very busy when we met up with David Pilkington who had allocated us beat 4 on the River Thrushel a beat I had glimpsed briefly during the visit to in March.
Enjoyment of the day was undoubtedly top of the agenda and Luke and I retreated to the Arundell Deli for a fresh coffee before venturing to the river. There was of course plenty to discuss and Luke didn’t expect the trout to start rising until late morning.
The Arundell is undoubtedly in good hands with the present owners well versed in what their fishing and shooting clientele require to ensure an enjoyable stay. Luke and I both appreciate the value of such sporting hotels to the rural economy and of course to the future of fly fishing. Key to the survival of this is the health of the regions rivers. The declining salmon and sea trout stocks are of concern as is the decline of insect life brought about by the use of insecticides. These issues and others of the wider world were dissected over coffee before setting off for the beat.
The day was bright and sunny with a cool westerly breeze. It is always exciting to explore a new venue and I was fortunate to have Luke’s company as he had fished the beat on previous occasions.
Luke is renowned for his exquisite hand built split cane fly rods, fly boxes and leaders.
https://www.bannisterrods.co.uk
I had intended to discuss rods with Luke but in our keenness to get fishing such discussions didn’t materialise. Luke put together a very pleasing looking 7ft 4 Wt cane wand whilst I took out my 7ft Snowbee Classic Carbon 4wt. Armed with this suitably matched reels, lines and a few flies we set out to the river after looking over the old stone bridge to assess the state of the river.
The river was running low with just a tinge of colour reminding me of beats I have fished on the Upper Torridge a river that shares many characteristics with the Tamar.
The Thrushel as described on the Arundell’s website: –
The Thrushel and its own tributary, the Wolf, is a pretty, lowland river which affords excellent trout fishing. The Thrushel itself is a small to medium sized river with a good number of open pools for the novice fisherman to target some excellent wild brown trout. Its tributary the Wolf is slightly smaller and trickier, requiring more fishing experience. Both rivers are characterised by short gravelly runs with trout holding pockets that flow into rock formed pools. To get the best from your day, the ability to cast from both shoulders is preferable as many of the runs and pots require working your way up the river from side to side and between access points. A short rod of 7ft or so is recommended. It should also be noted that the water levels on the Wolf are controlled by output from Roadford reservoir ensuring that it is often fishable when all other rivers are running too high after rainfall.
Species – Brown Trout, Grayling
Size of River – Medium/small
Wading difficulty – Medium
Ease of access and Fishability – Medium
Trout Equipment – 7’6”- 8’6” #3/4 weight rods
Whilst I very much enjoy fishing alone there is undoubtedly great value in sharing a day with a fellow angler and it was a privilege to explore this delightful river on this early summer day.
Tactics were discussed with Luke opting for a single bead headed nymph. We discussed the merits of New Zealand style tactics that are often used to explore the water giving the best of both worlds in many anglers opinion. Whilst Luke agreed with the effectiveness he prefers to focus on either dry fly or nymph tactics believing this a more rewarding and enjoyable way to fish
We entered the tranquil and shaded riverside and paused to take in the surroundings. A chiff chaff’s song reverberated through the air. The trees were in full leaf offering areas of shade as the river flowed tranquilly between rocky banks that were interspersed with tree roots. A river that could easily be the setting for the author BB’s delightful tome ‘The Little Grey Men’, a book that tells of the adventures of four gnomes as they travel down a stream. In all its full summer beauty: throughout the story runs the secret music of the stream, the songs of the water birds, the whisper of the sedges.
We watched carefully for signs of rising fish.
Luke demonstrated an extensive in depth knowledge of entomology talking of the flies he expected to see throughout the season and which patterns are best used as imitation’s.
Luke’s approach was calm and measured and I felt totally at ease in his presence. Sometimes there can be a degree of pressure when sharing a day as you don’t want to show incompetence by tangling in the trees or scaring the wily trout.
We took it in turns to fish the pools and glides. Discussing where we thought the fish would lie and delighting in dropping the fly into the sweet spot. Reading the water is a skill gleaned over many days even years beside the water. And whilst every river is different there are similarities that are common to all rivers from tiny brooks to the majestic lower reaches.
As we fished we talked of past fishing forays in waters both at home and abroad. We both caught a few small crimson spotted wild browns that were a delight to briefly admire before slipping back into the river.
After reaching the top of the beat we headed back down river to revisit promising lies. I waded into a deep run to search with a weighted nymph whilst Luke watched on. As I turned to wade back I slipped into a deep pocket and lost my balance momentarily slipping forwards into the deep water. Cool water surged over my wader top and I felt a moment of panic and then embarrassment at my clumsiness.
It proved costly as my phone though never totally submerged later packed up requiring a costly repair. I really should make sure I keep it within an aqua-pack.
After this brief moment of angst we continued on and headed for a stretch we had been advised to fish at the Lower end of the beat below the road bridge.
We entered a new stretch through a padlocked gate. A deep and shady pool was at the very bottom of the beat. Luke suggested I start at the bottom of the pool whilst he fished the run above.
I made my way carefully through head high undergrowth of water hemlock and nettles. A trout rose under the overhanging branches. I crept into position and flicked a grey duster delicately where the rings had shown. A shadow appeared and a trout sipped in the fly. A pleasing wild brown of perhaps 8” was brought to the waiting net.
I dried the fly and cast again and was thrilled to see a good sized trout of perhaps 1lb approach the fly before turning away with disdain.
I fished carefully up the pool and hooked another similar sized trout at the head of the pool. Luke and I compared notes and I suggested he try for the big fish at the shady tail of the pool. I fished slowly up the promising looking run above. I saw a fish rise and put my offering onto the spot. This is surely the most satisfying of moments in angling as the trout again rose and I felt that delightful harmony of deception and connection. The fish was the best of the day a pleasing brown of perhaps 10” its flanks olive and bronze decorated in crimson and black spots.
Luke captured the moment on camera and we walked up river having a few casts here and there before converging at the bridge.
It was late afternoon and we had shared a great day at the waters edge. Catching close to a dozen trout between us.
I cannot cast off without mentioning those hand crafted split cane rods. I would draw a parallel to classic sports cars that get you from A to B no quicker but do so in a manner that is undoubtedly pleasing to the soul.
